Fear – an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat

For those of us old enough to remember, Walmart was a key outlet for music in the late 70’s in middle America. It was always in the back of Walmart where teenagers would congregate – the younger ones peeling away from their moms that were busy strolling down the sewing and knitting aisle and the older ones coming in pairs with frizzy long hair, pimpled faces carrying an inaugural, sweet, smoky scent to my 5 year old nose. I can’t remember if my mom was overly interested in sewing and knitting, or if she was just naive enough to let me venture to the back of Walmart, but I was always excited to see the new album releases dangling from near invisible strings from the tiled ceilings. (Of course, I always made sure to walk by the poster aisle to hopefully catch a glimpse of the Farah Fawcett poster whispered about amongst the boys during our kindergarten recess time)

There it was – dangling just behind the Saturday Night Fever soundtrack album – KISS Alive II – Gene Simmons drenched in sweat with his chin covered and mouth full of bright red corn syrup serving as fake blood. It was quite the shock to my young eyes. Now I was no Kiss neophyte – I already owned a sweet orange KISS t-shirt with the Destroyer album cover on the front, but this was spectacularly scary.

I quickly scurried back to the sewing aisle looking for my mom. This kind of fear was a new sensation, especially since I had this longing to head back there and sneak a peek at the album cover again and again over the next several months. It all reminded me of an experience earlier in ’77 when I talked my dad into letting the two of us skip church on Sunday night, so I could get home to watch The Wizard of Oz. Not darkening the door of our church when they were open was darn near sacrilegious in our corner of the world, but my dad was kind enough to be a rebel with me and stay home to watch the beautiful Dorothy. While I was aware of her, I was not prepared for the unwelcome visitor to Munchkinland, the Wicked Witch of the West. When she surprisingly appeared from a plume of red smoke on the grainy TV screen, I quickly scurried behind my dad’s chair, afraid to look at the screen directly. Fear rattled me in that moment and my dad was somewhat perturbed that he risked religious blackballing for me to hide behind his chair. However, I realized that I could see a reflection of the TV in our porch glass door behind my dad’s chair. Somehow watching the witch’s reflection didn’t seem as scary in the moment. It was always worth another look.

The witch and demon literally scared the hell out of me, but what was this unexpected sensation that I wanted to look at them anyway? Heck, by the summer of ’78 I owned all the KISS trading cards and my obvious favorite was Gene spewing blood from his mouth.

Although the initial adrenaline inducing fear subsided, Gene continued to haunt me. I was walking through the corridors of the Pine Bluff Convention Center alone in ’84 knowing that KISS had performed there a year earlier. I kept getting freaked out that Gene was about to come around the corner in his full demon regalia standing 7 foot tall – the fear was still there and The Wizard of Oz became one of my all time favorite movies. My daughter and I can quote every word.

While I have plenty more story stories on fear that include Michael Myers, Jason Voorhees and my youth pastor, I’ll stop here with the realization that fear can make for a heavy load on our psyche. It seems to never fully leave us and when left unchecked, it can overwhelm us. I was taught early on that “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.” That was difficult to understand when Gene, Michael and Jason were lurking in all the dark corners, and I still don’t fully understand that statement, but I do know that being fearful of what tomorrow brings rarely leads to a fulfilling life.